Begin Again
by twiheart109
Summary: All I saw in love was pain. Love was confusing. I always wanted to have the feeling of being loved back. And when that happened, it wasn't what I had expected at all. I didn't see sparks fly every time we kissed or electricity every time we touched. I saw and felt nothing. But all of that changed at a little café in Lima Ohio. Everything changed and I watched it begin again.
1. Chapter 1

**Description:** All I saw in love was pain. Love was confusing. I always wanted to have the feeling of being loved back. And when that happened, it wasn't what I had expected at all. I didn't see sparks fly every time we kissed or electricity every time we touched. I saw and felt nothing. But all of that changed at a café in Lima Ohio. I sat back and watch it all begin again.

**Rated:** T for mild language

**Main Characters:** Finn/Rachel

**Main couple:** St. Berry, eventually Finchel. Almost all canon couples.

**Based on:** Taylor Swift's song, 'Begin Again' and Glee's Finn and Rachel.

**A/N:** Hello everyone! This is the first chapter of my new story: Begin Again. Why I had deleted my previous story 'Confessions and True Love' is because I thought of this. And, also the rocky relationship Finn and Rachel has in Season 4. Have you watched it? I'm terrified to watch the next episode (The Break-Up) Get your tissues ready! Well, this first chapter is basically how Jesse and Rachel's relationship works. In my story, Jesse is more of a jerk then in the show. Won't keep you waiting. Enjoy!

* * *

"How about this?" I asked my boyfriend, Jesse. He looked up for about a second before looking down at his phone again.

"It's nice." He mumbled, barely paying attention. I sighed in frustration, placing the red dress back on the rack.

"You barely even looked at it!" I accused, raising my voice. He rolled his eyes before paying attention to me.

"I'm not a girl, I don't know these stuff." He informed me, getting out of the store.

Sometimes dating someone like him can be frustrating. I decided to go with the red dress for prom. I was excited to be going for my very first prom. Especially since someone was actually taking me. I skipped the first three junior proms since I didn't have a date. But Jesse came around and everything I wanted fell right into place. I was finally happy.

Well, I mean...Jesse can be a jerk sometimes but I know that he loves me. He said so himself, and I believe him.

After purchasing the dress, we went to an ice cream shop near by. I ordered my favorite, cookies and cream while Jesse, who was still on the phone, decided to share with me. "Okay get this! Andrew wasn't paying attention to Mrs. Banner in class and she told him that there was an idiot at the end of the ruler. He got detention."

"And?" He seemed so uninterested.

"He asked which end!" I started laughing because I found it funny. Jesse simply raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes.

"How is that funny?" My laughter died after hearing that. He never laughed at my jokes.

"I dunno..." I mumbled, before continuing to eat my ice cream.

"Should we sing a duet for prom?"

Today seemed to be lucky, because he paid attention.

"What do you have in mind? How about something like Party Rock Anthem? Maybe we'll make it a bit slower."

"Oh...I thought maybe we could do Faithfully by Journey?" I always took a liking to old songs, and Faithfully was one of my favorites. But Jesse seemed to like songs that were...more modern.

"Seriously Rach? Faithfully? That's like a mushy old song." He said almost like it was disgusting. I hated the way he described old, romantic songs.

"It is not!" I defended.

"Look, you wanna do a duet or not?" I sighed and agreed with the song 'Party Rock Anthem'.

He drove me back and I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling. Sometimes I wonder if I ever mean anything to Jesse.

* * *

**A WEEK LATER**

I hate school. Don't get me wrong, I love the subjects and all but I hated school because I barely had friends.

The only friends I made were Ashley Andrews and Lucy Jordan. They were both in my year, and they were 'outcasts' too. That's what everyone calls us. I'm thankful that Jesse didn't see me as one.

He was popular. Like, on the top of the school student list.

"What are you listening to?" Jesse asked, as I pulled out my earphones. I smiled widely, looking at his brown eyes.

"It's My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion." I adored her. Her humor, her looks and especially her voice. She had the voice of an angel.

I expected him to say something like 'oh cool' or 'hey, that's a nice song'. But he didn't.

"From the movie Titanic, right? Rach, you need to started living a bit more. If you want to be with me, be daring. Listen to songs like maybe from...Cher Lloyd or something."

That's all I ever get from him. _Change Rachel_. I didn't like modern songs. Well, not all of them. I could tell he was pissed and I don't know what I did.

Ashley always filled us in on the latest gossip and one sent me into flames.

"Jesse!" I called out, walking towards him.

"I heard you had lunch with Sarah! Lunch and a movie date! Care to explain?" I spat out, very pissed at him.

"Geez, Rachel. Calm down. I think I'm allowed to go out with friends. Sometimes you're just too dramatic. You wanna make this work, stop jumping on me like that." He snapped. I felt my lower lip tremble as he walked away from me.

Oh sure, I should be calm about them going on dates. She has been wanting Jesse since the day he joined this school!

"I don't know what you see in that boy." Ashley sighed, before talking about the football team.

I agree with her. What do I see in him?

* * *

**A/N:** I know...I know...boring first chapter. Don't worry! We'll see Finn in the second or third chapter!

Review, please! It'll mean a lot! I'll be updating in random times, so don't expect the next chapter to be tomorrow or something. Well, maybe it will be.

*Reviews are almost better then Finn dancing*


	2. Chapter 2

**Description:** All I saw in love was pain. Love was confusing. I always wanted to have the feeling of being loved back. And when that happened, it wasn't what I had expected at all. I didn't see sparks fly every time we kissed or electricity every time we touched. I saw and felt nothing. But all of that changed at a café in Lima Ohio. I sat back and watch it all begin again.

**Rated:** T for mild language

**Main Characters:** Finn/Rachel

**Main couple:** St. Berry, eventually Finchel. Almost all canon couples.

**Based on:** Taylor Swift's song, 'Begin Again' and Glee's Finn and Rachel.

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews and follows everyone! I really appreciate it :) This is the second chapter. P.S. Have you heard Finn singing The Scientist?! Gosh, his voice is amazing! It has really improved! I won't keep you waiting. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 2 **

_"I'm telling you Rach. You'll probably die if you wear heels."_ Jesse told me. I sighed loudly.

"Jesse, for once; Say something nice? I want to try something new! Is that too much to ask?"

I knew I said too much, because Jesse hated when I talked back. _Especially_ in that tone. I was still mad at Jesse for going out with Sarah. He still hasn't proved that I wasn't just a girl. He hadn't proved that he loved me. And _only_ me.

_"Rachel, really. No offense, but you dress like a ninety year old woman. You wanna add heels to that collection?"_ _No offense?_

I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath. I will not be shouting at him in public.

_"Just get the damn heels, Rachel. Don't be looking for me anytime soon if you continue to dress like that. Can't you dress like Sarah a bit more?"_

Now he was putting Sarah into this._ Dress like Sarah, talk like Sarah_...really?

Can't I just be me?

"O-Okay." I said stupidly. I wanted this to work, and I _was_ going to make this work.

After putting down the phone and purchasing the heels, I went to 'Style 'N' Glam', the new saloon in the mall. I've never permed or dyed my hair before, so this was different.

After the hairdresser what to do, I scanned through a magazine.

There was one article about Jessica Alba which looked interesting. I began to read when someone interrupted me.

"Her clothes totally don't match. Red scarf with that blue shirt? Just..." The guy shuddered.

I looked up and saw a fairly tall guy, dressed with a white shirt, grey vest and tight black pants. He held a bag in his right arm and a magazine on his left.

This was very obvious; He was gay.

And that was a good thing. Gay guys were usually fun to hang out. They were the only guys who went shopping with other girls and didn't complain.

_Well, that's what I think._

"I agree," I lied. I didn't know anything about fashion. Not one single bit. Maybe that's why I've been made fun of for wearing a reindeer shirt in the middle of May.

"Doing your hair? You should dye the tips dirty blonde. Trust me." He insisted, taking a seat next to me. I smiled at the guy, because he seemed nice.

"Thanks for the tip. Do you come here much?" I asked politely, putting the magazine down.

"Oh maybe just once in two weeks. To get my hair done. The weather is horrible these days. How about you?"

I was going to lie and say the same, but I honestly believed he wouldn't make fun of me.

"This is my first time." I blushed. He looked at me with wide eyes before clapping.

"Newbies! Welcome to the fashion world, m'lady. I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'll be your guide through fashion change. Don't worry, I won't be planning on hitting you since I have a boyfriend." He shook my hand while smiling.

"Thanks. I have a boyfriend, by the way. I'm Rachel Berry the obvious loser in my school." I sighed.

"Don't worry too much, woman. I'm a loser and I'm proud of it." He stood proudly which made me laugh.

"Who's this boyfriend? Is he hot?"

I giggled. "Well, his name is Jesse and I'm pretty sure he's straight." I teased.

"Darn it." He joked. We started off really good and I learned more things about him. He went to McKinley High School, he sang and he had a step brother.

I told him a little more about me, but not too much. I mean, he could be a serial killer.

"Done." The dresser said, as I looked into the mirror. There stood this girl with make up and blonde locks.

I couldn't believe this girl was me. I touched my face, to see if I was dreaming. I looked...pretty. Beautiful, even.

But it wasn't_ me._

"Off to clothes!" Kurt dragged me into 'Chic Lady'. He helped me try on different kinds of clothes, which were a bit too exposed.

"Come on, Rachel! You have a body to show off!" I blushed at the comment.

But I didn't feel special in these clothes. Sure, I looked pretty but...I don't know. It felt _wrong_.

"There's this place where they serve the best pastries. Come on!"

We went inside this little café, and we looked at the menus.

"Welcome to Lima Café. Can I take your order?" I placed the menu down and looked at him. He was about six feet tall, with black eyes and hair.

He looked at me, and the world stopped.

Something about him made me feel butterflies in my stomach.

"I'm Finn Hudson, and I'll be your waiter for the day." He flashed a dazzling smile and starred at me.

I blushed and looked down. "Is there something on my face?" I whispered, so soft that he could barely hear. At least that's what I thought.

"No...I'm sorry. It's just that you look really beautiful."

No one has called me that. Not even Jesse. Once again, he looked into my eyes and my heart stopped.

* * *

**A/N: **We finally meet Kurt and Finn! Isn't Kurt awesome? How about Finn? Isn't he sweet? Yes, Jesse is a jerk. Now, I will not put Finn and Rachel together that soon. You'll just have to wait. Thanks for the awesome reviews!

See you soon,

twiheart109

**P.S.** Reviews are almost as good as Blaine and Finn singing together. Almost.


	3. Chapter 3

**Description:** All I saw in love was pain. Love was confusing. I always wanted to have the feeling of being loved back. And when that happened, it wasn't what I had expected at all. I didn't see sparks fly every time we kissed or electricity every time we touched. I saw and felt nothing. But all of that changed at a café in Lima Ohio. I sat back and watch it all begin again.

**Rated:** T for mild language

**Main Characters:** Finn/Rachel

**Main couple:** St. Berry, eventually Finchel. Almost all canon couples.

**Based on:** Taylor Swift's song, 'Begin Again' and Glee's Finn and Rachel.

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the kind reviews! Sorry for the delay, but here's the next chapter :)

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Who was I kidding? Finn had obviously said I was beautiful because of my new looks.

Well, that ruined my whole 'happy-mood'. After Finn had taken our orders, we started talking about Kurt's boyfriend, Blaine.

"He is the love of my life! I swear, I see sparks fly." I smiled at his excitement, but felt green in envy because I've never experienced something so wonderful as that.

"How about you, Rachel? Tell me about Jesse." He asked, paying attention to me. Normally, as a girlfriend, you would brag about how romantic your boyfriend is.

That was never my case.

"There's really nothing much to say. I mean, I was that Lima loser until Jesse took a notice to me. We started hanging out, then eventually dating." I replied honestly, leaving out the part of Jesse being such a jerk sometimes.

"Is he your dream guy?" Kurt tried to wink, but failed badly. I giggled at him, before frowning.

"I...honestly don't know. I mean...he's so complicated! One minute he's this jerk that I didn't fall in love with and the next, he's the guy hanging out with other girls. He's never the nice or romantic guy I learned to love. Sometimes, love can be vile." I couldn't believe I was saying this stuff to Kurt.

I've never told anyone my problems, and this is definitely a first. It somehow felt _good._

"Then why are you with him?" Kurt asked, looking at me softly.

"I...I've never experienced being loved back, Kurt. And I...I_ think_ he loves me too. I don't want to loose that." I admitted, looking down.

"Rachel, he doesn't control your life. You'll find someone who does love you for who you are." I smiled softly at my official new best friend.

"Do you have a choir group in your school?" I asked curiously.

That seemed to make him all excited again. "Glee Club! It's amazing. Finn's the captain of Glee Club, since he can sing. But he never sings live, unless he's forced too. My boyfriend's in the club too. How about you?"

I was surprised to find out that Finn can sing, but I wasn't judging him.

"I don't let other people hear my voice." He dropped his fork and shot me a glance.

"Rachel! You want to go to the most _amazing_ college for singers ever and you don't dare to sing live?!" He demanded, raising his voice.

"You got that right." I mumbled. I did want to sing, but Jesse said that I should find a real career.

"Here you go. One hot chocolate." Finn gave me a crooked grin before placing my drink down.

"You on your break?" Kurt asked Finn. He nodded before sitting down next to me. Why was I so..._nervous?_

"I heard you sing." I said quietly, trying to make a conversation.

"Eh, I'm okay. How about you?" He asked.

"Eh, I'm okay." I mimicked him, laughing softly. He laughed along with me, which was surprising. Jesse never laughed at anything I said. _Never._

"C'mon. You must be good." He insisted, holding my hand. He may have not noticed, but I felt a rush of joy in those five seconds.

"I don't know. No one has ever complimented me." I told him. Not even Jesse.

"Not even Jesse?" I almost forgot Kurt was with us. I shook my head quickly, because I was too embarrassed.

"Who's Jesse?" Finn asked curiously. There was a small part of me that wished I never had a boyfriend.

"Her boyfriend." He replied a matter-of-factly.

"Are you going to...you know..like study music?" Finn asked.

"She dreams about going to NYADA." Kurt answered for me.

"Really? That's awesome!" He gave me a warm smile.

"But...I'm not sure yet. I mean, it's not really a career." Jesse's words, not mine.

"Don't tell me you know who said that." Kurt sighed. It was like he could read my mind.

"I don't know. He could be telling the truth." I defended Jesse, even though he didn't deserve it.

"That's ridiculous. If you like singing, then dream out loud. Don't let someone ruin that for you. You're worth it." He smiled softly.

Never have I been complimented like that from a total stranger. Finn was so..._different. _

"Thanks, Finn." I grinned. "Well, my job's calling. I'll see you back home, Kurt. Bye Rachel." He smiled before leaving us alone again.

"Oh, and Rachel?" He turned back once more.

"Hmmm?" I muttered, snapping out of my day dream.

"When I said you were beautiful, I meant without the make-up covering your face." He smiled widely, before going to the back of the café. I sat there, dumbstruck. This boy was going to be the death of me.

Somehow, I actually believed him.

"You like him!" Kurt accused, covering his mouth.

I rolled my eyes. "I just met him, Kurt." But maybe I did like him. In a friend way.

"Have you ever heard of the saying love at first sight?" He sang, as I looked down.

I didn't reply, because I was too busy watching Finn take orders. Maybe I did believe in love at first sight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Description:** All I saw in love was pain. Love was confusing. I always wanted to have the feeling of being loved back. And when that happened, it wasn't what I had expected at all. I didn't see sparks fly every time we kissed or electricity every time we touched. I saw and felt nothing. But all of that changed at a café in Lima Ohio. I sat back and watch it all begin again.

**Rated:** T for mild language

**Main Characters:** Finn/Rachel

**Main couple:** St. Berry, eventually Finchel. Almost all canon couples.

**Based on:** Taylor Swift's song, 'Begin Again' and Glee's Finn and Rachel.

**A/N: **Sorry it took so long! Hope you guys understand. I went to India for an open heart surgery, which was successful. And then I was taken to a hospital here in Malaysia because I had high fever. But I'm back :)

* * *

I drove back to my house, where my dads were waiting.

"What the hell happened to you?!" My dad, Hiram demanded.

I _knew_ I forgot something.

"Nothing. Just did a little make-over," I mumbled, hoping they would let this go. "Little? Young lady, we barely recognize you!" He almost shouted, but didn't.

I knew this make-over was the wrong thing, but my relationship was really in the rocks and I didn't want to loose Jesse.

"Well, if you hadn't noticed, I'm the loser of my school! Maybe for once, I'd like to fit in, dads!" I shouted at them, before running upstairs. This was the first time I had actually had an argument with them, all because of Jesse. I crawled up into a ball and started crying my eyes out.

**A Few Hours Later**

There was a soft knock on my door, and I hadn't realized I've been sleeping.

"Come in," My voice barely let out a whisper, due to the fact that I had been crying for at least two hours.

"Hey, raspberry." My dad, LeRoy smiled down at me. He had taken a liking into calling me that because 'rasp' was the only close thing to 'Rachel'.

"Hi dad," I replied softly. He sat down on the bed with me, and that's where I broke down.

I could tell he was stunned, because he didn't move for a few minutes. "Why didn't you tell us these kids were giving you a hard time?" He asked me, lifting my chin so he could look at me.

"Oh yeah, like that'll help." I said as a matter-of-factly.

"Rachel, is this about Jesse?" I tried my best not to cry again, I really did. But I cried, and Hiram took it as a yes.

"Rachel, there's going to be so many boys out there who would do anything to be by your side. Just because you've ended things with Jesse, doesn't mean life's over, kiddo." He smiled softly at me.

That's when I realized he had thought Jesse and I broke up.

"Um...dad...we...we didn't break up," I admitted, looking down. It was silent for a while, and I swear, you could hear a pin dropping.

"Why? Rachel, that kid's no good for you." He told me sternly. I closed my eyes and tried not to get angry.

"I love him, dad. He is the first person to make me feel loved!" I don't know why, but it came out like a lie. It was like I was telling myths about Jesse. He hadn't really said 'I love you'. And these pass few months, I actually never felt anything towards him.

"Is that so? Do you honestly think that boy loves you? Rachel, I'm being honest here, okay?" I nodded my head quickly, wanting him to continue.

"A good boyfriend won't judge how you look. If they did, why would they date you in the first place?"

I thought about it carefully, and opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

"He wouldn't scold you if you wanted to try new things. In fact, he would encourage you. He would break all the rules just for you, too. He'd take you out on dates, and especially, he'd hear you out."

I thought back on all of those times Jesse had done those things.

He hadn't.

Jesse did judge me, and told me to change. He did scold me, insulted me, actually. He never encouraged me at all. He never broke any rules just for me and he never took me out on dates. One thing that really hurt was that he never heard me out. He never asked for what I was thinking.

"He didn't do all of those things, did he?" LeRoy guessed.

"Dad, I get you are concerned about how I feel. But Jesse and I just had an argument, that's it."

"Rachel-" That was where I cut him off.

"Don't go and tell me that there will be other people because everyone knows there won't! Who would date someone as ugly as me?! You don't get it, dad! You never will!" I grabbed my bag and drove off, stopping at my favorite meadow.

Jesse made me believe that I was never going to be good for anyone. Jesse told me I was lucky enough to have him, and at that time, I thought I was.

Why was I such a jerk? Why did I let someone control my life?

After half an hour, I heard footsteps walking towards me. I figured it was one of my dads, since they knew this place.

But surprisingly, it wasn't.

"Mom?" I whispered, looking up at her beautiful face.

"Hi Rachel. Your dad told me to come and see you. He said something about you having a hard day?"

I realized that was a question, and so I answered. "More like a hard few months." I mumbled, but loud enough so that she heard.

"Let me guess. Boy problems?" She asked me, sitting next to me.

"What else?" I had the urge to roll my eyes, but didn't.

"Rachel, look at me." She said sternly, making me look at her.

"Do you honestly believe for one second that no one would want to date you? That you aren't beautiful? Rachel, you're more than that. This guy you were talking about...Jason? Justin...? Jesse! He isn't worth your teenage years, hon. Don't give me that 'I'm not pretty enough or that no one would date me because I'm a loser' reason when we both know you aren't a loser and you are more then pretty. He's controlling you, Rachel. That isn't good. What you are right now is desperate. You just want someone to love you so badly that you accepted a jerk. Believe me, I've been there."

I was very stunned by what she said, and I was about to give her my stupid reasons on why no one would date me, but I was more curious on what she said about 'being there'.

"I was sixteen," She began, understanding that I wanted to know the story. "Like you, I was desperate to find someone who'd love me. Too desperate to accept someone like Henry Wilson. He was a jock in my school." She explained.

"One day, he came up to me, the well known loser in my school. He said he wanted to hang out, and I instantly said yes without thinking. So, we hung out and I was convinced he liked me. Soon, everyone knew we were dating. Then, everything changed when he started acting like his usual self. He told me to change. My looks, my attitude...everything. And so, I did. I thought it was over, but it wasn't. Soon," She stopped there, taking a deep breath before smiling at me.

"He broke up with me and started dating this girl in our grade. You don't know how hurt I was. That made me realize that I didn't need him in my life. I just don't want you to get hurt, sweetheart." She told me sincerely.

I gave her a soft hug, mumbling a 'thank you'.

"I'm not saying you should break up with this Jesse guy. If you believe he will change, then do so. Just don't have your hopes up."

She then stood up, but stopped and looked at me. "I almost forgot. Here,"

She handed me a small notebook, filled with hearts and cute sequins. I opened it, to find nothing written on it.

"Write down a list of things you want your Mr. Perfect to be. Maybe he might just be around the corner." She winked and left me alone there.

She also had given me a pen to write on it, and I wrote 'Search for Mr. Perfect'. I laughed at myself because I knew I was desperate.

So, I stopped writing and decided that I didn't need love now. I had more then enough time to find my Mr. Perfect, and I didn't need to find him now.

What I needed to focus on was Jesse.

The next day, I went back to Lima Café, sat in one corner and started writing a list.

**Search for Mr. Perfect**

I thought dozens of ideas would pop up, but I couldn't write. "Stalking me, Rachel?" A melodic voice asked. I looked up to see Finn standing awkwardly in front of me, giving me a crooked grin.

"Hi Finn." I smiled widely, very surprised that I was actually happy to see him.

"And no, I'm not stalking you. I just needed some place where my parents won't find me," I informed him.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. I laughed and nodded.

"There's a Karaoke Bar-" He began, but was cut off when I felt to arms wrap around me. I sighed and closed my eyes.

Jesse.


End file.
